Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab.
girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho,
bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab,
use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa

 

Cat : How old are you?
Elephant : 5 year
Cat : But you are big
Elephant : I am a COMPLAN BOY
Cat : I am 30 year
Elephant : But you look so small.
.
.
..
.
.
Cat : PONDS AGE MIRCLE,BAD TI UMR MANO THAM SI JAE..:P

jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se
jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho
se tab ham madhosh ho gayee,,,,,
par jab pata chala ki nazre
hi tedi hai to ham behosh ho gaye.

 

ek bacha school jaraha tha apni school
uniform mai…..
rastey mai ek aadmi na pucha kider jah reho
beta….toh bachein ne jawab aapke abba ki
shaadi mai jaru naachne chalte kya……..lolz

Just because my status is “Single”,

it doesn’t mean I am ”Available”

It’s just that my FATHER is in my friends list
on FACEBOOK !

 

Latest Joke from the film ROCKSTAR

Teacher:- Homework kyu nhi kia ?
Student:- Sir, fever tha.
Teacher:- Beta…sach btao me kuch nhi karunga
… Student:- Sir TV dekh rha tha aur mood nhi tha. . .
Teacher:- *slaps* batameez aise muh pe jawab dega sir ko?…aise kaise TV dekh rha tha. . . . .niyam k mutabik pehle homework krna chahiye !
Student:-
kyu sach ka sabak sikhaye!
jab sab sunn bhi na paye!
Sach koi bole to tu!
Niyam kanoon bataye!
Tera darr…
Tera pyaar…
Teri wah…
Tu hi rakh. . .rakh sale!

 

 

 

Best song sung by a boy on break up.

“Give me some sunshine,
Give me some rain,
Give me another girls number,
I’m single once again.”

 

 

Arz Hai ….
Jo Hoot Bolke Karta Hai Mutmain Sabko!!
Jo Hoot Bolke Karta Hai Mutmain Sabko!!
…
…
…
Wo Jhoot Bolke Khud Mutmain Nahi Hota!!!

 

Engineering studnt in exam:
Q. Wat is an Array??
Ans. An array is a word used to call a friend.
Eg: Array idhar aa, Array kar ra rai, Array
tension nakko le, etc

 

 

Tajmahal kisi ke liye ek AJOOBA
hai,
To kisi ke liye pyar ka EHSAS hai,
Hamare tumhare liye to BAKWAS
hai,
Kyun ki ki roz badalti humari
MUMTAZ hai.

 

 

Double Insult
Girl : do u like me ?
Boy: No !!! (girl got sad)
Boy : why are u sad ?
Girl : because u don’t like me.
Boy : u never asked that do u love me.
Girl: Awww !! ok !! Do u love me ?
Boy: No !!! =D =P

Ek shaadi

me Gullu cycle ki break haath mein
lekar naach raha tha..
Ek admi ne puchha
yeh kya kar re miya..
.
GULLU: Dikra nai re haule
‘Break Dance’ karrau

 

 

 

Santa meets his friend Banta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B…!
Banta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!

 

 

 

 

The Difference Between
A Corrupt And Honest Person
Is :

The Corrupt Person Has
PRICE
And
The Honest Person Has
VALUE … !

 

 

Boy : I Love U ?

Girl : Shut Up =P

Boy : I Will Die For U =(
Girl : Shut Up :@

Boy : I Can’t Live Without U :’(
Girl : Shut Up :/

Boy : If You Marry Me, I will Gift You A New Car And A Diamond Necklace ? ? ?
Girl : Really? ?

Boy : Just Shut Up =))

Like this post if u Liked the Post ?

 

girls in primary school — all have pencils but few unusual ones have pen
girls in secondary school– all have pens but few unusual ones have mobiles
girls in inter — all have mobiles but few unusual ones have cosmetics
girls in college — all have pens,cosmetics n mobiles but few unusual ones have books

 

Fantastic 1st day f d YOUTH FESTIVAL XITIJ at Parul ..
. 8 Events r performed …
BVM did well in all d events …

Let’s see wt vl happen tomorrow in our event n also in other events )

Dhina k Dhin Dha

 

GIRLZ OF 1995*
“AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM”

GIRLZ OF 2007*
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM
JaDuGaR

 

Height of coolness:

2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands….
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths……
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:

 

HYDERABADI MEANS

H – Humorus
Y – Young
D – Daring
E – Energetic
R – Romantic
A – Amazing
B – Brilliant
A – Astonishing
D – Devoted
I – Intelligent

hit Like if you AGREE

 

ek dulhe se kisine kehdiya shadi ki pehli raat ko jo
pehle paani pilaane ko kehde to uske partner ko zindagi bhar ghulami karna padega.
to shadi ki raat dulhe miya room me aaye aur dulhan se paani pilaane ko bole.
dulhan ne jawab diya “paani to khatm hogaya , main peeli .. aap fridge se leker peelijiye aur ek glass mere liye bhi le aaye” .
bas us raat se aaj tak wo dulhe ki ghulami ki dastaan jaari hai :

Atom Bomb – An invention to end all inventions.
2) Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
3) Cigarette – A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other….
4) Divorce- Future tense of marriage
5) Lecture- The art of transferring a conscious person to a subconscious state
6) Genius- Scroll down and see who posted this…

M.P. wale ne U.P. wale se kaha ki
aap k yaha ajab surname hote hai
jiska 1 baap vo sengal, 2 wala dwivedi
3 wala trivedi, 4 wala chaturvedi, 5 wala
pandey ji, is se adhik wala mishraji,
jiska pata bhi na chale guptaji,
jeth wala ho to jethliyaji aur
jisne sab kuch dav par laga diya ho
vo srivastavaji

 

Facebook : ek aisa relation hai jo do ajnabeeyon ko dost banata hai

facebook : ek saman hai jo dilki kitab likh dal ta hai

facebook: ek aisa sabut hai jo koi rishta na rehne par bhi ek dusre ki tarif karata hai

facebook : ek sach hai jo jhute ko sach bolne par majboor kardeta hai

facebook : aur ek aham baat hum kuch ho na ho ek dusre se baat karata ……….

Doston dosti dost badaati hai…hai na ye sach………..:o

Saif at his best – Kurbaan Hua ( i love this song) especially that part
Marne ka sabab
Maangta raha dar-ba-dar
Mitne ko toh dil
Pal mein raazi hua
Poori hui har aarzoo
Har daastaan meri
Ke tum shuru hue jahan
Main khatam hua
Kurbaan huaaaaa…

 

once James Bond shoots a person and say
” I’m Bond , James Bond

Climax -
but the person catches the bullet and throws at bond and bond dies
- the person say
” I’m Kanth , Rajani Kanth =P

 

 

 

 

Wife: can u help me in garden?
Husband: what do u think, i m gardner??
Wife: can u fix door handle?
Husband: wt do u think, i m a carpenter?
In d evening when husband came from
d work, he saw everything has been fixed.
He asked wife who fixed this.
Wife:”our neighbour. But he gave me 2
optns. Either i shoud give him burger or a kiss.
Husband: I m sure u must have given a burger.
Wife:”Wt do u think, i m
“Mc’Donald s’”..:P:P

 

Coming Soon Movies:
‘Likes’na milenge dubara.
Kabhi facebook Kabhi twitter…
Hum Block ho Chuke Sanam…
Facebook ne bana di jodi…
Jab Poke kiya to darna kya…
Mere brother ki Id….
Inbox aaj kal…
3 wallposts Ajab photos ki gajab tagging.. D

 

 

-=- TRAGEDIES OF GIRLS LIFE -=-

1- Good Boys r Not Good Looking.
2- Good Looking Boys r Not Good Boys.
3- Good Looking n Good Boys r Not Single.
4- Good Looking, Good n Single Boys Have Hitler Mothers.

 

teacher..>
Kisne Chand par pehla kadam rakha tha?

Student..>
Neil Armstrong

Teacher..>
Aur Doosra?

Student..>
Hadd karte ho teacher.. Vo langra thodi tha.. Dusra kadam bhi usne he rakha tha

Old one but legendary-

3 Ways To Catch A Tiger

1- Newton’s Method- Allow The Tiger To Catch U & Catch The Tiger
2- Einstein’s Method- Chase The Tiger Until It Becomes Tired n Then Catch It.
3- Indian Police Method-
Catch A Cat & Beat It
Until It Accepts Its A Tiger..

~~ Huma ~

 

* Wife : Please Bike Tej Na Chalao…
Mujhe Dar Lag Raha Hai…:

Santa : Agar Tujhe Bhi Dar Lag Raha Hai Toh Meri Tarah Ankhein Band Kar Le

*1 -admi ne Fish pakri
jab ghar aaya to dekha
Na gas
Na ata
Na bijli
Na oil
admi wapis Fish ko darya me phenk aaya
Fish upar aai or zor se chilai

 

1. “ALCOHOL CONTAINS FEMALE HORMONES”
Proof: After drinking-
1)Men talk unnecessarily
2)Become over emotional
3)Drive badly
4)Stop thinking
5)Fight for nothing..!!

2.How BEDROOM smells after MARRIAGE…..
1st 3 months- Perfumes?flowers
After 1-3 years- Baby powder/cream/lotions
After 10-13 years- Zandu Balm/ Vicks /Iodex…..

*PATI: KASH MAIN ‘GANPATI’ HOTA,
TUM 11 DIN TAK MERI PUJA KARTI,
LADDU KHILATI…..
PATNI: HA KAASH AISA HOTA,
PHIR HAR SAAL VISARJAN KE BAAD ME NAYA ‘GANPATI’ LATI…..

* Wife setting passwrd, 4 her Laptop,
Wid husbnd sitting beside her..
She types “BRAIN” as password..
Husbnd fell off his chair Laughin..
Coz PC rplied…..”TOO SMALL”

*Girl’s status on FB- “I AM SAD”
Comments:
1. Haww! kya hua?
2. Hey, everyting ok?
3. Shud i call?

* Baar Engineering k Sbhi Profesrs Ko 1 Plane Me Bithaya Gya.
Fir Announce Kiya Gya Ki-
“YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA H”
Sb Profesrs Utr Gye
Pr Principls Bethe Rahe…

*.Height of coolness:
2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands….
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths……
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator: